the last sunset

can i say this is the only way i can pour my sorrows out to? can i say over the past few days my mood was down and that nobody else was there to listen to me. and that this is the only solace i can pour out to. it's not about letting the whole world see. it's about myself wanting a listening ear. unfortunately my only listening ear is this blog. there's no way i can tell you because you definitely won't listen and you'll tell me to stop saying all these because we're friends. can't i have the freedom to pour out everything somewhere.

and yesterday you said you'll call me back before putting the phone down. and i was eagerly waiting for you to call me back to tell me your grades, but obviously it didn't happen. and even though i smsed you asking if you were gonna call, you could have at least just said you can't and that you were busy. but never mind, forget it.

yesterday you could say i've reached my boiling point, so much so i snapped at you. that's if you understand this point i'm telling you. you already know my mood over the past few days and i even told you about it. i'm fine already after snapping yesterday.

if you really dislike your life or things in your life after knowing me then just tell me. i would have just left you alone. the only other reason why i want to throw my feelings away for you is because i'll keep snapping like that in future, i don't think it's something you want to face all the time from me. i told you this before, but you said you didn't like it of me burying my feelings aside for you.

to tell you the truth, i don't really know what's the problem with me even after snapping yesterday. all i know is i just needed to let go if not my mood will get worse as each day pass. it's not the problem of being friends, it's the problem of the awkwardness in our friendship if you realise. i don't literally mean goodbye to you, i'm saying goodbye to my feelings for you, not you.

maybe i need time, or you, or maybe the both of us need it. let me know again. i don't understand anything anymore.